· Mabuhay Club’s tadzkirah (RAMADHAN 2013)
- Enhancing Our Connectedness with the Divine in our Life (Part 1 & Part 2)
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REFLECTION
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Bismilahirrahmanirrahim.
Alhamdulilllah. Am grateful for the ability
to attend lessons during Ramadhan.
I was just pondering about the impact of
attending these lessons and I think it was extremely useful because each week
was like a stock-check: “Ok – how have your Ramadhan been?!” It made me ponder
about:
1)
The
significance of Ramadhan in my life
2)
How much
have I been striving?
3)
This
Ramadhan with retrospection to the previous ones
4)
Looking
forward – Post-Ramadhan
1) The
significance of Ramadhan in my life or My Relationship with Ramadhan
I learnt that I really didn’t know Ramadhan
that well in the first place. Relating this to a marital relationship (as how I
usually remind newly-weds & to-be-married couples in my line of work), I
learnt that we’ve got to keep an open-mind and a lifelong learning attitude.
For e.g., Discovering Ramadhan’s “pet names”
(nama gelaran or nama manja I’d like to think), helps me understand Ramadhan
from a different light. In similitude, like a couple, it reminds me not to be
complacent just because one’s married; In this case, just because I’m a Muslim
who fasts in Ramadhan, doesn’t mean I know what Ramadhan is all about. Also as
Ustaz mentioned in the public lecture, sometimes the meanings we make out of
the information could be faulty – or misconceptions – and thus, we need to seek
the meanings that Allah had wanted us to find.
And these meanings are aplenty… and deep! I
am reminded not to under-perform, not to
focus on Hari Raya & not to be swayed by the
distractions/commercialisation of the festivities. I felt what was needed – was
discipline & a paradigm shift in my beliefs. These “walls” must be
understood in its context of a shelter, a protective feature and a place of
comfort – it should be a home, not a prison.
Ramadhan is the most glorified month for the
believer – a month of submission, purification, putting us to the test,
standing in prayer, the month where Qur’an was sent down and also… like Ustaz
shared later – Ramadhan is the EID of the ‘Awliya of Allah (literally
"Intimate Friends - Wali of Allah") (I was thinking to myself… wah bestnya. Eid for one month! I pun nak…!
Hahaha) That confirmed my ignorance to what Ramadhan had been!
SubhanaAllah! Such a beautiful gift!
And to recognise that all the things we do –
has a link back to the legacy of Rasulullah (saw)! It is not in isolation or a
new crafted objective. We have this responsibility to carry – and may we be
granted the ability to do so, in whatever capacities we may have. And this is
what bearing witness to Tauheed is about.
I was also deeply intrigued by the divine
spectacle of Ramadhan delivered at the NTU VSS talk, which also drove home the
point that about our roles as witnesses, which brings me to my next point.
2) How
much have I been striving?
Ustaz highlighted so many gems in the
lessons, it’s quite ‘difficult’ (err… I
mean, it takes a bit more of brain processing time but not impossible) to
string them all together. Though one thing that I felt was a strong message in
the first tazkirah for the mabuhay session was about our efforts to respond to
Allah. In the beginning of the lesson, Ustaz already established that Allah
will definitely respond to us – that’s not the issue. He has already promised
us that – but the issue is – US. How have WE been responding to HIM?!
The Qur’an being the Guidance (Huda) for
mankind, the Bayyinat (explanation of the Guidance) & Furqan (to know truth
from Falsehood) – How have we been utilising the Qur’an and the month of
Ramadhan to respond/jawab to Allah?! There were so many highlights on du’a and
swolah. Du’a being the marrow of ‘Ibadah, Du’a itself being ‘ibadah.
MashaAllah! And at ALL times… to make du’a to strengthen this connection with
Allah swt. I am reminded to make du’a even & especially in times of ease,
for it is nobler in the sight of Allah. :)
3) This
Ramadhan with retrospection of the previous ones
Has this Ramadhan been better than the last?
What helped me make it better? Can I do more of what’s working for me? Reflecting
upon my previous Ramadhans… I think this year has been much better. Not that
it’s fantastic (could always be better right?)
Yet what I love and am thankful for is that
I’m keeping with a few goals now. ALHAMDULILLAH! ‘Cause when Ramadhan started
out this year, I had set a few goals for myself – not gigantic ones; I chose
simple routines – but it has to be done extremely consistently with no excuses
(no matter how tired, no matter how lazy, no matter how late I reach home, no
matter how sick). Bi idznillah. And ALHAMDULILLAH for Allah’s guidance and
bestowal of achievement so far.
Past years had been a lot of wanting, but
less doing. And sometimes, messed-up prioritising. I think it really reflects
my ignorance of Ramadhan, hence such ‘outcomes’… Bleah. I can sense small positive
shifts this year so far Alhamdulillah. May every Ramadhan be a better one than
the last!
It’s true ya when Ustaz mentioned in Qur’an:
al-Baqarah: 185 that Allah intends for us ease – it’s just that we never truly
believed. We saw the other side, which is hardship. How myopic and erroneous a
view! When Ustaz outlined what can help us see it as a facility – beginning
with firm resolve (and niyyat), having husnudzonn, tawakkal & swobr towards
Allah swt, having firm faith of Allah’s reward, being grateful for small &
daily successes, striving to be ikhlasw & avoiding riya’ and understanding
that Allah is the ultimate Judge! This was pointing to an attitudinal change of
how we have been looking at Ramadhan.
4) Looking
forward – Post-Ramadhan
With whatever I am able to do now – I ask
myself if I’m able to maintain it post-Ramadhan. With all the striving done in
Ramadhan, how do we move on from here?
I was also sharing with a beloved sister
about Ustaz raising the point on making a habit to recite 40 times (of a
verse), so it becomes inscribed in our hearts and that’s
the traditional way of remembering/memorisation! And then suggesting that a
month of submission and striving with much ‘amal ‘ibadah is supposed to drive
in a similar impact. And that’s how our submission is built.
And so – I have this idea that above and
beyond the 30 days – I think I should strive with similar routine from the one
I’ve created in Ramadhan for another 10 days at least in Syawal… and hopefully,
this ‘amal will be inscribed in my heart too! In the hope that Allah makes it easy
for me to ber’amal with istiqomah. Hee! Ok la, nanti lepas Eid nak try…
Indeed, when we learn to be grateful, Allah
will grant us more. And a true believer (mu’meen) is one who doesn’t complains.
And how we wrap up Ramadhan (this global, intergenerational,
intercivilisational, traditional, prophetic, life-changing ‘campaign’) is with
the clear united glorification of the One who truly guided us, without whom –
whatever we had intended or wanted can never materialise. SubhanaAllah Allahu
akbar!
I am deeply grateful Ustaz for your
persistent guidance that had helped me understand my role as ‘abdan shakur a
bit more. The renewed semangat to develop oneself is also something priceless
that I hope will aid me in my journey back to Allah swt. Jazakallah khayran
kathiran Ustaz and may Allah reward you and your family immensely for all the
numerous blessings you have showered upon us. Amin. :)
OK – Ramadhan! Final Lap! Alhamdulillah!
ANONYMOUS
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Reference:
Reflections from Ramadhan’s other majlis ‘ilm (link):
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