"HOW TO DA'WAH TOWARDS OUR OWN FAMILY?" - An Advice

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Question:

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How does one do Da'wah to our close ones (siblings/relatives)? I find this rather to be more difficult than making Da'wah towards a stranger. Yet, we must never neglect them. How do we help them, when we ourselves are struggling? Time may not have the patience for us,

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Yes! Many do find it rather difficult to "Da'wah" (call or invite) own siblings / relatives / spouses, as compared to doing same towards people whom they barely know. Yet, when we merely view our effort at only providing sincere advise - unassuming i.e. by not trying to be talking from a 'higher pedestal' (as if they assume the role of Da'i - as one having authority who is doing Da'wah), it becomes much easier, and we should offer it to our close ones routinely as part of our interaction with them. When this becomes our disposition, things will get easier. If we have never been known to give advise, to make a start (i.e. as new beginning to how we would behave with them), it may be initially not easily recieved unless they see sincerity and earnestness on our part. Also, because of familiarity, advice when given must be seen as 'serious' differentiated from our other casual mood towards them e.g. joking, teasing or the 'manja-manja' moods (Malay term - 'lovingly playful'). Their familiarity and personal knowledge of us may be a baggage, because they will instinctively judge our advice firstly on how much it is being practiced in ourselves. Whereas for strangers, they do not know us that intimately and thus it is comparatively easier.

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To your question:"How do we help them, when we ourselves are struggling?"

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My response is: " We first and foremost make our struggling to be a good servant of Allah as the focus in our life, our main objective - not in our trying to help them!" Helping them is only incidental, by way of our hope that whatever good we want for ourselves, we also wish them to benefit the same. In fact this principle has Qur'anic basis for Allah warns:

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أَتَأۡمُرُونَ ٱلنَّاسَ بِٱلۡبِرِّ وَتَنسَوۡنَ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَنتُمۡ تَتۡلُونَ ٱلۡكِتَـٰبَۚ أَفَلَا تَعۡقِلُونَ

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"Do ye enjoin right conduct on the people and forget (to practise it) yourselves and yet ye study the Scripture? Will ye not understand?"

(Q:Baqarah: 2:44)

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This is called, Da'wah by example. This is less intimidating towars them, and we will maintain our humilty, inshaAllah. It does not really matter whether we are youngest or oldest. When we direct any criticism and advice towards ourselves - other people will less likely be offended, If you can do this, being patient in giving the advise (by focussing with your own struggling) even if it be small or little but accompanied by our prayers, with our thoughts ever mindful upon how we shall have to meet Allah (Taqwa) - this itself is the kind of help prescribed by Allah s.w.t. that guarantees His Divine intervention. Allah has enjoined upon us this:

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وَٱسۡتَعِينُواْ بِٱلصَّبۡرِ وَٱلصَّلَوٰةِۚ وَإِنَّہَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلَّا عَلَى ٱلۡخَـٰشِعِينَ

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ٱلَّذِينَ يَظُنُّونَ أَنَّہُم مُّلَـٰقُواْ رَبِّہِمۡ وَأَنَّهُمۡ إِلَيۡهِ رَٲجِعُونَ

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" Nay seek (Allah's) help with patient perseverance and prayer: it is indeed hard, except to those who are humble.Who bear in mind the certainty that they are to meet their Lord, and that they are to return to Him.

(Q:Baqarah: 2: 45-46).

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Do not worry about whether your approach can or cannot be effective towards making them heed the advice - this is the concern of Allah (Allah Guides, not us). And, yes nobody ever claim themselves to be a good example - that is humility! So sister, you are not alone in this. As to your worry that "Time may not have the patience for us", rest assured of Allah's generosity towards His servants as reported, that when a Believer embarked upon a good (righteous) deed sincerely for Allah, even if he is unable to complete the deed, Allah will reward him as though it has been perfectly completed!

إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى ٱلصَّـٰبِرُونَ أَجۡرَهُم بِغَيۡرِ حِسَابٍ۬"

Those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!"

(Q: Az-Zumar: 39:10).

WaAllaahu a'lam

Was-salaam

zhulkeflee

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